OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
