He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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