your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
