WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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