I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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