Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
