I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
