Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She said her name was "party"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
A+ Viking dick
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