Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
