You really coming over, don't trick.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
smell my finger.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
