Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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