She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
