In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
