Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
