I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And the cops told us we were all naked.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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