a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
