Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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