We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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