eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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