If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
whose parrot is this?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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