This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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