Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
