I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
