I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
