So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize