why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
