i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
