Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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