Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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