The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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