the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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