it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm both gender and math confused
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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