did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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