We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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