Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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