I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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