Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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