u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
