Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
