WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
