your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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