I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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