make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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