i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
smell my finger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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