With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
