Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We had to coat check the pizza.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
