I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
