I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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