Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
