HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
