i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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