dude i'm inner monologue high
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
