Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
