we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
