It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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