Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
