She's JV to your varsity
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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